I know it has been a while, I can only say I am very sorry, I was temporarily detained by the security services in Bulgaria. All a horrible misunderstanding of course.
So, news, Jim… It would seem that he has managed to procure a female for staff spinning, long walks in the rain, late night chats and more. Our congratulations to you. We hope to hear how this one develops and update you sleaze fans as and when. Heres hoping this one does not end as tragically as the last time Jim got close to a lady, I am running out of places to bury them ever since Evil Joe started dumping his ‘guests’ in my hiding place.
Speaking of Evil Joe there is little of note to report beyond his most recent library book loans which include ‘The Human Body: How Sex Works’, ‘Medieval Whips and Chains’ and ‘Spy Photography: The Bathroom Window Edition’. Not sure what he is planning but we wish him the best of luck with it.
So that brings us nicely to London the capital of depraved activity. It seems that both Adam and Tristan have managed to gain employment of some description. Adam gets paid of playing with computers all day long. Other perks of the jobs include unlimited free coke (no Jim not the good sort), lunch with the boss and an incredibly attractive co-worker named Betty (do not tell Mira). Basically Adams day involves fixing Betty’s mistakes and creating ‘code for adverts’ whatever that means. Sleazy Tiger is considering getting some adverts created and posted all over the internet, something along the lines of ‘Tiger seeks sex kitten – cripplingly low self esteem a prerequisite: yes I mean you with the funny eyebrows. Must be interested in giving me £400 to pay the rent this month’.
In the mean time Tristan has asked me to enquire if anyone is looking for a spacious two bed in the up-and-coming area of Queens Park North West London, £280 per week. He is now a lettings consultant and spends his day doing what he does best, lying to the unsuspecting public and tricking them into purchasing that dodgy one bed with the body in the basement, speaking of Joe was that you again? Please stop stealing the keys from Tristan’s office and depositing your ‘mishaps’. The draw back to Tristan’s job is the fact that it involves working 8-8 six days a week. Still Mira is glad to have him out of the flat for a while!
Anyway, time for me to go and collect my new business cards before hitting the local strip club.
Ciao,
ST
P.s. Which Jugglesocer is your 'good' 'bad' and 'ugly'. Text 077796613157, Vote now!!!
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Sunday, 11 October 2009
Autumn, the snuggling season
So I felt it were about time update you jokers on the movements of Pixie Lott. That is right, just to prove she is not just another one time deal like the rest. According to her twitter updates she has been jet setting across Europe in Paris and Vienna but is now back home. She just could not stay away from this tiger any longer. Feel free to follow both Victoria and myself on twitter.
In other slightly more relevant news Evil Joe has discovered a fledgling juggling club in Essex! And as an added bonus on of the ladies involved in the club is “rather attractive”. Good luck sir!
In other slightly more relevant news Evil Joe has discovered a fledgling juggling club in Essex! And as an added bonus on of the ladies involved in the club is “rather attractive”. Good luck sir!
Friday, 9 October 2009
Just left
*yawn* Just left! Will update soon, far too early. Although this rule does is for the best, look where not following it got me last time.
T
T
Thursday, 8 October 2009
University of Nottingham Jugglesoc
Well well well, finally I get some news from the sleepy town of Nottingham. It seems that even in my absence juggling and sleaze has continued. The juggling club seems to be going from strength to strength and growing in size although I am a little upset that it seems the ex members have been replaced and forgotten! Not to worry, I am sure they will make there presence felt in the near future with a trip back to old haunts for the juggling and the new freshers. Evil Joe has after all nearly gone through the entirety of Essex University already. In other Evil Joe related news he has internet! Feel free to pester him.
So on to one of my favourite members, the Staff Man himself. Good news is he has managed to beat the credit crunch and find a job. Congratulations on selling your soul to the corporate world. Also good luck with your other project, the sleazy one… Try to avoid staff-face contact this time, I find that helps.
Two ex jugglesoc members have moved to pastures new joining up with rival Imperial Jugglesoc whose first meeting is Tuesday. Do not fear A and T are working from the inside to bring them down, Nottingham forever!
Best of luck to you guys in Nottingham.
ST
P.s. Anyone heard from illustrious president of yesteryear, his grace - Pete?
So on to one of my favourite members, the Staff Man himself. Good news is he has managed to beat the credit crunch and find a job. Congratulations on selling your soul to the corporate world. Also good luck with your other project, the sleazy one… Try to avoid staff-face contact this time, I find that helps.
Two ex jugglesoc members have moved to pastures new joining up with rival Imperial Jugglesoc whose first meeting is Tuesday. Do not fear A and T are working from the inside to bring them down, Nottingham forever!
Best of luck to you guys in Nottingham.
ST
P.s. Anyone heard from illustrious president of yesteryear, his grace - Pete?
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Dates
So, time for another update. It has come to my attention that a young tiger in London has got himself a date. Although this is not standard practice, I do understand what he is doing here, as we all know that in the current economic climate Rohypnol can be a bit too much of an expense.
We shall call her 'Bambi' (this is totally random and in no way linked to any information we may or may not have gathered about her). She is a recent graduate like our young tiger T, enjoys reading books and would like to be taken to rooms of old things.
As T has just escaped the fiery pits of hell, he may well be a bit rusty in the art of getting a lady to participate in the squelchy with him. Due to this, I, Sleazy Tiger, propose some audience participation. I would like to gather some usefulo hints and lines for our man to use during this 'date' (remember, not your standard chat up line as he already has her attention). Comment on this shiny blog or email me!
A few examples:
- *smile* *nod* *smile*
- "Would you like to come back to my place for some Cluedo?"
- *On approach of a door* "No, No, allow me" *slam door onto head until unconscious, and drag to alley* (If talking fails as rohypnol is expensive)
- "Come back to my..house" *box*, "It has columns.." *columns*, "I promise not to make a mess" *mills mess*
Stay Sleazy!
ST
We shall call her 'Bambi' (this is totally random and in no way linked to any information we may or may not have gathered about her). She is a recent graduate like our young tiger T, enjoys reading books and would like to be taken to rooms of old things.
As T has just escaped the fiery pits of hell, he may well be a bit rusty in the art of getting a lady to participate in the squelchy with him. Due to this, I, Sleazy Tiger, propose some audience participation. I would like to gather some usefulo hints and lines for our man to use during this 'date' (remember, not your standard chat up line as he already has her attention). Comment on this shiny blog or email me!
A few examples:
- *smile* *nod* *smile*
- "Would you like to come back to my place for some Cluedo?"
- *On approach of a door* "No, No, allow me" *slam door onto head until unconscious, and drag to alley* (If talking fails as rohypnol is expensive)
- "Come back to my..house" *box*, "It has columns.." *columns*, "I promise not to make a mess" *mills mess*
Stay Sleazy!
ST
Friday, 2 October 2009
A New Game
Sleazy Tiger has a new rating system: I would catch ..... to get with .....
Please post your responses and fill in the blanks.
For example, I would catch Chlamydia to get with Pixie Lott.
In other news The Evil One has travelled to the big bad city and is bemused and frightened by everything. After an evening of Monopoly and general debauchery The Evil One’s hosts retreated to play some WOW. Come tomorrow no doubt there will be much juggling and rejoicing as three way passing is likely to occur.
As for those left in Nottingham, what is happening guys? Fill me in on the gossip.
Off to catch Chlamydia.
Toodle pip,
ST
Please post your responses and fill in the blanks.
For example, I would catch Chlamydia to get with Pixie Lott.
In other news The Evil One has travelled to the big bad city and is bemused and frightened by everything. After an evening of Monopoly and general debauchery The Evil One’s hosts retreated to play some WOW. Come tomorrow no doubt there will be much juggling and rejoicing as three way passing is likely to occur.
As for those left in Nottingham, what is happening guys? Fill me in on the gossip.
Off to catch Chlamydia.
Toodle pip,
ST
Saturday, 19 September 2009
For Pete
This addition is dedicated to our beloved sleaze maestro Pete!
Sleazy Tiger has not finished with the Cheerleading Tryouts and is off to rig cameras in the 2012 Olympic changing rooms. Although we do have word of a large amount of sleaze having been going on around the country over the summer.
First off word has gotten to our offices that a Crazy Devilstick Woman and a Spinning DJ have performed the squelchy together! Furthermore we do wonder what is happening in this house of sleaze after the beautiful love triangle (Has this developed more sides?) between someone tall with a stick, spidermanesque climber/photographer and a creature with breasts that manages money for jugglers.
We of course will not mention some interesting conversations over coke between the Tall one and the devilstick woman. Although we have heard about some problems the tall one has been having with his glowing balls....
How does the sweet and innocent church going unicyclist fit into the house of fun?
In other news, down South, our ex President has been having the time of his life in his (got with through a technicality) job with 4 lovely ladies and a freshers week fast approaching! ST recommends on top of the photocopier or behind the 'Moral Philosophy' section.
Back in our capital city T has had a meeting with a lovely lady at a recruitment agency, he is almost guaranteed an estate agency job in Belgravia provided he provides some services in return... This is very sleazy of him, as most interviewers do not give out personal contact details, be available at weekends or meet especially before the interview. Additionally he was asked to dance with this lady during the interview, is this a required skill for selling houses? We advise him to provide the required services at least until the job is secured.
In the mean time 'Tall Attached Bearded Bum' has been having an unusual interview experience of his very own. It seems that many people in advertising are of a certain persuasion... How to put this delicately... Well lets just say the interviewer had no intention of putting anything delicately when it came to 'TABB'. We suggest he sticks to purely IT based roles, avoiding such advertising sorts in the future.
Please do keep ST updated with further goings on, we are always very delicate with any information you provide.
Keep it sleazy
ST
Sleazy Tiger has not finished with the Cheerleading Tryouts and is off to rig cameras in the 2012 Olympic changing rooms. Although we do have word of a large amount of sleaze having been going on around the country over the summer.
First off word has gotten to our offices that a Crazy Devilstick Woman and a Spinning DJ have performed the squelchy together! Furthermore we do wonder what is happening in this house of sleaze after the beautiful love triangle (Has this developed more sides?) between someone tall with a stick, spidermanesque climber/photographer and a creature with breasts that manages money for jugglers.
We of course will not mention some interesting conversations over coke between the Tall one and the devilstick woman. Although we have heard about some problems the tall one has been having with his glowing balls....
How does the sweet and innocent church going unicyclist fit into the house of fun?
In other news, down South, our ex President has been having the time of his life in his (got with through a technicality) job with 4 lovely ladies and a freshers week fast approaching! ST recommends on top of the photocopier or behind the 'Moral Philosophy' section.
Back in our capital city T has had a meeting with a lovely lady at a recruitment agency, he is almost guaranteed an estate agency job in Belgravia provided he provides some services in return... This is very sleazy of him, as most interviewers do not give out personal contact details, be available at weekends or meet especially before the interview. Additionally he was asked to dance with this lady during the interview, is this a required skill for selling houses? We advise him to provide the required services at least until the job is secured.
In the mean time 'Tall Attached Bearded Bum' has been having an unusual interview experience of his very own. It seems that many people in advertising are of a certain persuasion... How to put this delicately... Well lets just say the interviewer had no intention of putting anything delicately when it came to 'TABB'. We suggest he sticks to purely IT based roles, avoiding such advertising sorts in the future.
Please do keep ST updated with further goings on, we are always very delicate with any information you provide.
Keep it sleazy
ST
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