This is an approved message from the Office of Sleazy Tiger:
As all of the readers of this Blog will know, Sleazy Tiger is the King of all that is immoral. He is the Sheikh of Swearing, the President of Promiscuity, the Rajah of Rampaging and the Dean of Drugs. ST's position in these areas has never been challenged and never will. Like a tenured professor, he bestrides his chosen arena like a God. However, and unlike a tenured professor, this Lord of Lechery occasionally recognises and praises lower mortals who have done not-so-great deeds.
Of recent, Sleazy Tiger's attention has been drawn to one such man: a well known man, a rich man, and clearly a distant relation of our own ST.
That's right, it's Sleazy Tiger-Woods.
Until the last few weeks, Woods was considered by ST to be pathetic, contemptible even. He was the kind of goody-goody golden boy who'd never tried a joint, never nicked a chocolate bar from a shop, never tied a Malaysian Ladyboy to a rock and whipped them till they died. However, when Woods managed to forget his driving lessons and hit not just a tree but also a fire hydrant whilst reversing (a feat only bettered by Evil Joe who managed to take out an entire school of orphans whilst in neutral) the lurid stories that followed caused him to quickly climb in ST's regard.
First he lied to Police. Did anyone, ANYONE, in the world anywhere really believe the official line that his wife was trying to rescue him by breaking that rear window with that golf club? Golf Clubs are useful for two things only:
A)as an excuse to get away from your significant other.
B)and being used by your significant other to beat you senseless when she finds out what you were really doing when you were out 'golfing'.
So STW had started sticking it to the man. This impressed ST. But then he kicked it up a notch. Mistresses Tiger thought he'd lined up, putted and then left in a hole covered in Tiger-Love started crawling out into the light of day. At the last count STW was nearing a double figure round of cheating*. This tickled ST so much that he sent STW a congratulatory telegram. In the form of a hooker with 'Way to go you son-of-a-bitch' tattooed in a personal area that a frisky Tiger would surely discover.
[*ST is however distinctly disappointed that so far none of these floozies fits the 'Hugh Grant Theorem.' This states that any celebrity that could have any sexual partner in the world will voluntarily sleep someone who wouldn't get nailed in the world's worst-looking bar with a five drink head start and an entire Tesco's worth of paper bags over their head.]
So Tiger Woods is dead, long live Sleazy Tiger-Woods. But what does this mean for the philandering golfer? Well, his sponsors are deserting him like alcoholics from an AA meeting. But ST feels that when one door closes, another opens. And whilst that door for ST is generally one to a brothel, for STW it may just be an opportunity.
Picture the scene. Tiger is lining up a long putt for the win on the 18th. Suddenly, his eye is caught by an attractive female marshall, who draws him out of shot into the long rough off the fairway. The crowd begins an appreciative murmur, a rising crescendo punctuated by occasional shouts of 'GET IN THE HOLE!' Suddenly, the masses go wild. STW strides out of the grass, zipping his fly with one hand and acknowledging the crowd with the other. His ball lies unnoticed and unmolested on the green. The picture fades to black and the simple message is left:
'Just Do Her'
This has been a message of support for Sleazy Tiger-Woods. When no one else will stand beside you, Sleazy Tiger will do. Though he may pick your pocket at the same time.
Friday 11 December 2009
Wednesday 9 December 2009
10/12/09
Okay sleaze fans, ST here, plenty of things to update you all on…
In no particular order then, Spin Doctor. To my knowledge not many major developments of late. I understand he has discovered the joys of graphic novels. I have a new favourite but I will give you more details of that one later. I am recommending anything by Alan Moore and for those interested in History Maus, Red Son and From Hell make for particular highlights. In other news the Spin Doctor has evidently proven himself to be a shining star in the office gaining a 30% pay increase. This tiger speculates the addition weekly cash will be blown on blow and beer.
From one spinner to another then as we delve into the wonderful world that is the life of Reuben. He has asked me to draw your attention to a special beer, Adnams ‘Christmas Star’. This beer scores 7/10. Sleazy Tigers ‘Beer of the Week’ winner however has got to be ‘Santa’s Wobble’ mainly for the name but also for the deep complex flavours and high alcohol content. 9/10. Further more we wish Reuben the best of luck with his music which can be found somewhere on the internet.
All that talk of beer has reminded me of another man who enjoys the odd tipple. Evil Joe has no doubt been partaking in the occasional drink whilst not busily making up excuses to explain the lack of books on shelves to final year students panicking about impending deadlines. I suspect that the drinking and slow reshelving rate may have some correlation? Joe has been attempting to juggle at least once a week although does feel a little cheated by the cunning marketing ploy of the club to get more members. Turns out the cute female juggler that signed him up no longer attends regular club sessions. Better luck next time. One final note on our budding young photographer, it seems that he has been on a little trip to Ipswich. Photographs are improving with each upload however I have to wonder if the secret to his success is taking over 1000 photographs in order to get the four worth keeping?
Who is next… Mira – Milo, Miley, Malaysia. Yes, Mira has gone back to Malaysia for the Christmas break having suffered months of complicated law questions and the constant drain of living with the threat of being stuck by an errant juggling club. One particular incident that may have scarred poor innocent Mira forever is a certain sleazy book about the ‘adventures’ of Dorothy, Wendy and Alice. When will you learn? If Tristan says something is ‘amazing’ then I advice not opening the pages that can only contain depravity on a level you could not imagine in your worst nightmares. Speaking of another Tristan – Mira misunderstanding for some unbelievable reason Mira thinks Tristan will be in a coherent enough state to collect her from the airport on 1st January. How long have you known him?! He has plans with a Romanian girl so that could lead anywhere. Incidentally I may have stolen your keys and gone on a sleazy road trip, your car is somewhere in Bulgaria.
Tristan then, he is, as ever, having a turbulent time of it. Back to the joy of unemployment. Well actually worse, working in the job that he aimed to avoid at any and all costs. He is now a trainee accountant working for the worlds most demanding boss. Still at least it is not lettings consultancy. On a brighter note Tristan has plans for fun and games in London toward the end of next week including what looks to be a great night out in a gay club. As we know, often the best place to meet the ladies, no competition and guards lowered – I predict a wondrous evening.
That just leaves me to wish Adam a happy birthday for next week. Now I am off to find myself some Yates Girls, do not wait up kids.
ST
In no particular order then, Spin Doctor. To my knowledge not many major developments of late. I understand he has discovered the joys of graphic novels. I have a new favourite but I will give you more details of that one later. I am recommending anything by Alan Moore and for those interested in History Maus, Red Son and From Hell make for particular highlights. In other news the Spin Doctor has evidently proven himself to be a shining star in the office gaining a 30% pay increase. This tiger speculates the addition weekly cash will be blown on blow and beer.
From one spinner to another then as we delve into the wonderful world that is the life of Reuben. He has asked me to draw your attention to a special beer, Adnams ‘Christmas Star’. This beer scores 7/10. Sleazy Tigers ‘Beer of the Week’ winner however has got to be ‘Santa’s Wobble’ mainly for the name but also for the deep complex flavours and high alcohol content. 9/10. Further more we wish Reuben the best of luck with his music which can be found somewhere on the internet.
All that talk of beer has reminded me of another man who enjoys the odd tipple. Evil Joe has no doubt been partaking in the occasional drink whilst not busily making up excuses to explain the lack of books on shelves to final year students panicking about impending deadlines. I suspect that the drinking and slow reshelving rate may have some correlation? Joe has been attempting to juggle at least once a week although does feel a little cheated by the cunning marketing ploy of the club to get more members. Turns out the cute female juggler that signed him up no longer attends regular club sessions. Better luck next time. One final note on our budding young photographer, it seems that he has been on a little trip to Ipswich. Photographs are improving with each upload however I have to wonder if the secret to his success is taking over 1000 photographs in order to get the four worth keeping?
Who is next… Mira – Milo, Miley, Malaysia. Yes, Mira has gone back to Malaysia for the Christmas break having suffered months of complicated law questions and the constant drain of living with the threat of being stuck by an errant juggling club. One particular incident that may have scarred poor innocent Mira forever is a certain sleazy book about the ‘adventures’ of Dorothy, Wendy and Alice. When will you learn? If Tristan says something is ‘amazing’ then I advice not opening the pages that can only contain depravity on a level you could not imagine in your worst nightmares. Speaking of another Tristan – Mira misunderstanding for some unbelievable reason Mira thinks Tristan will be in a coherent enough state to collect her from the airport on 1st January. How long have you known him?! He has plans with a Romanian girl so that could lead anywhere. Incidentally I may have stolen your keys and gone on a sleazy road trip, your car is somewhere in Bulgaria.
Tristan then, he is, as ever, having a turbulent time of it. Back to the joy of unemployment. Well actually worse, working in the job that he aimed to avoid at any and all costs. He is now a trainee accountant working for the worlds most demanding boss. Still at least it is not lettings consultancy. On a brighter note Tristan has plans for fun and games in London toward the end of next week including what looks to be a great night out in a gay club. As we know, often the best place to meet the ladies, no competition and guards lowered – I predict a wondrous evening.
That just leaves me to wish Adam a happy birthday for next week. Now I am off to find myself some Yates Girls, do not wait up kids.
ST
Monday 26 October 2009
Watchtiger
Watchtiger – saving you money to spend on hookers and blow
We now bring you this exclusive. Watchtiger has received numerous reports of shady dealings in London’s world of property rentals. A firm, who we may not name for legal reasons, have been accused of dirty practices in the promotion and leasing of houses. One particular employee has been identified as being wholly and solely complicit in such underhand acts. We are not authorised to name this individual, however in this article he shall be known under the pseudonym ‘Rristan Tedburn.’
Watchtiger decided to collect evidence of these alleged misdemeanours. Two of our investigative team, posing as a prospective couple, used a hidden camera to record shocking footage. The misleading descriptions and outright falsehoods they received are documented in the transcript below:
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
Rristan Tedburn (RT): Pleasure to meet both of you. [Flashes pearly white winning smile] Are you ready to see your new house?
Targeted Watchtiger Anonymous Team-man (T.W.A.T.): I thought you said this was a nice area?
RT: But it is. Or at least it will be. The current residents...
Subtle Lady Uncovering Turpitude (S.L.U.T.): A tramp pissed on me on our way here!
RT: The current residents are slowly being pushed out by the influx of young urban professionals. Take that gentleman for instance. [Points at a suited man across the road] A fine example of the standard of tenant you can expect in this neighbourhood.
T.W.A.T: He’s a drug dealer.
RT: I doubt that.
T.W.A.T: Then why did he offer me some ‘Brown Sugar’ when he approached us before you arrived?
RT: Because he is a Pimp and not known to diversify. Shall we go inside? [Hurriedly moves couple into house]
RT: So, as you can see it is a Victorian terrace, tastefully furnished and kept to the highest standard.
S.L.U.T: Tastefully furnished? It’s practically empty!
RT: That is what is so tasteful about it. This house has been furnished to appeal to a wide range of design opinions. Take the living room for example; it has a minimalist look whilst having all necessary fittings to fulfil any requirements.
S.L.U.T: It’s got a plank of wood balanced on two boxes.
RT: A rustic, minimalist look. Shall we check upstairs?
RT: As you can see, it is an open plan attic bedroom, with skylight and en-suite facilities.
T.W.A.T: By en-suite facilities you mean that bucket?
RT: And so close to the bed, such convenience!
S.L.U.T: And when you say skylight, do you mean that hole in the roof? [points to 1.5x1 metre gap in ceiling]
RT: Hole? Calling that a hole defames the groundbreaking vision of the architect. This is an Immersive Skylight. It brings the outside environment in, involving you in your surroundings. If you want to feel closer to nature then this is the feature for you.
S.L.U.T: And what happens when it rains?
RT: You get really immersed in nature.
T.W.A.T: I can’t believe this.
RT: It shocks me too. Such opulence for just £350 a month. An absolute bargain even if I say so myself.
T.W.A.T: You really expect us to pay that much to live here?
RT: For the first year yes.
S.L.U.T: First year?
RT: Our standard contract is laid out as follows. You pay the base rate for the first year, in this case £350 a month. [RT speaks very quickly] For every further year you pay the standard rate multiplied by the distance from the Meridian line, divided by the number of times your wife consents to lay with me (Biblical style) and then multiplied by the number of grains of sand in a cubic inch. [Back to normal speaking speed] Just the normal contract conditions really.
S.L.U.T: How long would we be tied into this contract?
RT: That depends.
S.L.U.T: On what?
RT: Do you believe in an everlasting soul?
[END TRANSCRIPT]
We now bring you this exclusive. Watchtiger has received numerous reports of shady dealings in London’s world of property rentals. A firm, who we may not name for legal reasons, have been accused of dirty practices in the promotion and leasing of houses. One particular employee has been identified as being wholly and solely complicit in such underhand acts. We are not authorised to name this individual, however in this article he shall be known under the pseudonym ‘Rristan Tedburn.’
Watchtiger decided to collect evidence of these alleged misdemeanours. Two of our investigative team, posing as a prospective couple, used a hidden camera to record shocking footage. The misleading descriptions and outright falsehoods they received are documented in the transcript below:
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
Rristan Tedburn (RT): Pleasure to meet both of you. [Flashes pearly white winning smile] Are you ready to see your new house?
Targeted Watchtiger Anonymous Team-man (T.W.A.T.): I thought you said this was a nice area?
RT: But it is. Or at least it will be. The current residents...
Subtle Lady Uncovering Turpitude (S.L.U.T.): A tramp pissed on me on our way here!
RT: The current residents are slowly being pushed out by the influx of young urban professionals. Take that gentleman for instance. [Points at a suited man across the road] A fine example of the standard of tenant you can expect in this neighbourhood.
T.W.A.T: He’s a drug dealer.
RT: I doubt that.
T.W.A.T: Then why did he offer me some ‘Brown Sugar’ when he approached us before you arrived?
RT: Because he is a Pimp and not known to diversify. Shall we go inside? [Hurriedly moves couple into house]
RT: So, as you can see it is a Victorian terrace, tastefully furnished and kept to the highest standard.
S.L.U.T: Tastefully furnished? It’s practically empty!
RT: That is what is so tasteful about it. This house has been furnished to appeal to a wide range of design opinions. Take the living room for example; it has a minimalist look whilst having all necessary fittings to fulfil any requirements.
S.L.U.T: It’s got a plank of wood balanced on two boxes.
RT: A rustic, minimalist look. Shall we check upstairs?
RT: As you can see, it is an open plan attic bedroom, with skylight and en-suite facilities.
T.W.A.T: By en-suite facilities you mean that bucket?
RT: And so close to the bed, such convenience!
S.L.U.T: And when you say skylight, do you mean that hole in the roof? [points to 1.5x1 metre gap in ceiling]
RT: Hole? Calling that a hole defames the groundbreaking vision of the architect. This is an Immersive Skylight. It brings the outside environment in, involving you in your surroundings. If you want to feel closer to nature then this is the feature for you.
S.L.U.T: And what happens when it rains?
RT: You get really immersed in nature.
T.W.A.T: I can’t believe this.
RT: It shocks me too. Such opulence for just £350 a month. An absolute bargain even if I say so myself.
T.W.A.T: You really expect us to pay that much to live here?
RT: For the first year yes.
S.L.U.T: First year?
RT: Our standard contract is laid out as follows. You pay the base rate for the first year, in this case £350 a month. [RT speaks very quickly] For every further year you pay the standard rate multiplied by the distance from the Meridian line, divided by the number of times your wife consents to lay with me (Biblical style) and then multiplied by the number of grains of sand in a cubic inch. [Back to normal speaking speed] Just the normal contract conditions really.
S.L.U.T: How long would we be tied into this contract?
RT: That depends.
S.L.U.T: On what?
RT: Do you believe in an everlasting soul?
[END TRANSCRIPT]
Sunday 25 October 2009
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
I know it has been a while, I can only say I am very sorry, I was temporarily detained by the security services in Bulgaria. All a horrible misunderstanding of course.
So, news, Jim… It would seem that he has managed to procure a female for staff spinning, long walks in the rain, late night chats and more. Our congratulations to you. We hope to hear how this one develops and update you sleaze fans as and when. Heres hoping this one does not end as tragically as the last time Jim got close to a lady, I am running out of places to bury them ever since Evil Joe started dumping his ‘guests’ in my hiding place.
Speaking of Evil Joe there is little of note to report beyond his most recent library book loans which include ‘The Human Body: How Sex Works’, ‘Medieval Whips and Chains’ and ‘Spy Photography: The Bathroom Window Edition’. Not sure what he is planning but we wish him the best of luck with it.
So that brings us nicely to London the capital of depraved activity. It seems that both Adam and Tristan have managed to gain employment of some description. Adam gets paid of playing with computers all day long. Other perks of the jobs include unlimited free coke (no Jim not the good sort), lunch with the boss and an incredibly attractive co-worker named Betty (do not tell Mira). Basically Adams day involves fixing Betty’s mistakes and creating ‘code for adverts’ whatever that means. Sleazy Tiger is considering getting some adverts created and posted all over the internet, something along the lines of ‘Tiger seeks sex kitten – cripplingly low self esteem a prerequisite: yes I mean you with the funny eyebrows. Must be interested in giving me £400 to pay the rent this month’.
In the mean time Tristan has asked me to enquire if anyone is looking for a spacious two bed in the up-and-coming area of Queens Park North West London, £280 per week. He is now a lettings consultant and spends his day doing what he does best, lying to the unsuspecting public and tricking them into purchasing that dodgy one bed with the body in the basement, speaking of Joe was that you again? Please stop stealing the keys from Tristan’s office and depositing your ‘mishaps’. The draw back to Tristan’s job is the fact that it involves working 8-8 six days a week. Still Mira is glad to have him out of the flat for a while!
Anyway, time for me to go and collect my new business cards before hitting the local strip club.
Ciao,
ST
P.s. Which Jugglesocer is your 'good' 'bad' and 'ugly'. Text 077796613157, Vote now!!!
So, news, Jim… It would seem that he has managed to procure a female for staff spinning, long walks in the rain, late night chats and more. Our congratulations to you. We hope to hear how this one develops and update you sleaze fans as and when. Heres hoping this one does not end as tragically as the last time Jim got close to a lady, I am running out of places to bury them ever since Evil Joe started dumping his ‘guests’ in my hiding place.
Speaking of Evil Joe there is little of note to report beyond his most recent library book loans which include ‘The Human Body: How Sex Works’, ‘Medieval Whips and Chains’ and ‘Spy Photography: The Bathroom Window Edition’. Not sure what he is planning but we wish him the best of luck with it.
So that brings us nicely to London the capital of depraved activity. It seems that both Adam and Tristan have managed to gain employment of some description. Adam gets paid of playing with computers all day long. Other perks of the jobs include unlimited free coke (no Jim not the good sort), lunch with the boss and an incredibly attractive co-worker named Betty (do not tell Mira). Basically Adams day involves fixing Betty’s mistakes and creating ‘code for adverts’ whatever that means. Sleazy Tiger is considering getting some adverts created and posted all over the internet, something along the lines of ‘Tiger seeks sex kitten – cripplingly low self esteem a prerequisite: yes I mean you with the funny eyebrows. Must be interested in giving me £400 to pay the rent this month’.
In the mean time Tristan has asked me to enquire if anyone is looking for a spacious two bed in the up-and-coming area of Queens Park North West London, £280 per week. He is now a lettings consultant and spends his day doing what he does best, lying to the unsuspecting public and tricking them into purchasing that dodgy one bed with the body in the basement, speaking of Joe was that you again? Please stop stealing the keys from Tristan’s office and depositing your ‘mishaps’. The draw back to Tristan’s job is the fact that it involves working 8-8 six days a week. Still Mira is glad to have him out of the flat for a while!
Anyway, time for me to go and collect my new business cards before hitting the local strip club.
Ciao,
ST
P.s. Which Jugglesocer is your 'good' 'bad' and 'ugly'. Text 077796613157, Vote now!!!
Sunday 11 October 2009
Autumn, the snuggling season
So I felt it were about time update you jokers on the movements of Pixie Lott. That is right, just to prove she is not just another one time deal like the rest. According to her twitter updates she has been jet setting across Europe in Paris and Vienna but is now back home. She just could not stay away from this tiger any longer. Feel free to follow both Victoria and myself on twitter.
In other slightly more relevant news Evil Joe has discovered a fledgling juggling club in Essex! And as an added bonus on of the ladies involved in the club is “rather attractive”. Good luck sir!
In other slightly more relevant news Evil Joe has discovered a fledgling juggling club in Essex! And as an added bonus on of the ladies involved in the club is “rather attractive”. Good luck sir!
Friday 9 October 2009
Just left
*yawn* Just left! Will update soon, far too early. Although this rule does is for the best, look where not following it got me last time.
T
T
Thursday 8 October 2009
University of Nottingham Jugglesoc
Well well well, finally I get some news from the sleepy town of Nottingham. It seems that even in my absence juggling and sleaze has continued. The juggling club seems to be going from strength to strength and growing in size although I am a little upset that it seems the ex members have been replaced and forgotten! Not to worry, I am sure they will make there presence felt in the near future with a trip back to old haunts for the juggling and the new freshers. Evil Joe has after all nearly gone through the entirety of Essex University already. In other Evil Joe related news he has internet! Feel free to pester him.
So on to one of my favourite members, the Staff Man himself. Good news is he has managed to beat the credit crunch and find a job. Congratulations on selling your soul to the corporate world. Also good luck with your other project, the sleazy one… Try to avoid staff-face contact this time, I find that helps.
Two ex jugglesoc members have moved to pastures new joining up with rival Imperial Jugglesoc whose first meeting is Tuesday. Do not fear A and T are working from the inside to bring them down, Nottingham forever!
Best of luck to you guys in Nottingham.
ST
P.s. Anyone heard from illustrious president of yesteryear, his grace - Pete?
So on to one of my favourite members, the Staff Man himself. Good news is he has managed to beat the credit crunch and find a job. Congratulations on selling your soul to the corporate world. Also good luck with your other project, the sleazy one… Try to avoid staff-face contact this time, I find that helps.
Two ex jugglesoc members have moved to pastures new joining up with rival Imperial Jugglesoc whose first meeting is Tuesday. Do not fear A and T are working from the inside to bring them down, Nottingham forever!
Best of luck to you guys in Nottingham.
ST
P.s. Anyone heard from illustrious president of yesteryear, his grace - Pete?
Tuesday 6 October 2009
Dates
So, time for another update. It has come to my attention that a young tiger in London has got himself a date. Although this is not standard practice, I do understand what he is doing here, as we all know that in the current economic climate Rohypnol can be a bit too much of an expense.
We shall call her 'Bambi' (this is totally random and in no way linked to any information we may or may not have gathered about her). She is a recent graduate like our young tiger T, enjoys reading books and would like to be taken to rooms of old things.
As T has just escaped the fiery pits of hell, he may well be a bit rusty in the art of getting a lady to participate in the squelchy with him. Due to this, I, Sleazy Tiger, propose some audience participation. I would like to gather some usefulo hints and lines for our man to use during this 'date' (remember, not your standard chat up line as he already has her attention). Comment on this shiny blog or email me!
A few examples:
- *smile* *nod* *smile*
- "Would you like to come back to my place for some Cluedo?"
- *On approach of a door* "No, No, allow me" *slam door onto head until unconscious, and drag to alley* (If talking fails as rohypnol is expensive)
- "Come back to my..house" *box*, "It has columns.." *columns*, "I promise not to make a mess" *mills mess*
Stay Sleazy!
ST
We shall call her 'Bambi' (this is totally random and in no way linked to any information we may or may not have gathered about her). She is a recent graduate like our young tiger T, enjoys reading books and would like to be taken to rooms of old things.
As T has just escaped the fiery pits of hell, he may well be a bit rusty in the art of getting a lady to participate in the squelchy with him. Due to this, I, Sleazy Tiger, propose some audience participation. I would like to gather some usefulo hints and lines for our man to use during this 'date' (remember, not your standard chat up line as he already has her attention). Comment on this shiny blog or email me!
A few examples:
- *smile* *nod* *smile*
- "Would you like to come back to my place for some Cluedo?"
- *On approach of a door* "No, No, allow me" *slam door onto head until unconscious, and drag to alley* (If talking fails as rohypnol is expensive)
- "Come back to my..house" *box*, "It has columns.." *columns*, "I promise not to make a mess" *mills mess*
Stay Sleazy!
ST
Friday 2 October 2009
A New Game
Sleazy Tiger has a new rating system: I would catch ..... to get with .....
Please post your responses and fill in the blanks.
For example, I would catch Chlamydia to get with Pixie Lott.
In other news The Evil One has travelled to the big bad city and is bemused and frightened by everything. After an evening of Monopoly and general debauchery The Evil One’s hosts retreated to play some WOW. Come tomorrow no doubt there will be much juggling and rejoicing as three way passing is likely to occur.
As for those left in Nottingham, what is happening guys? Fill me in on the gossip.
Off to catch Chlamydia.
Toodle pip,
ST
Please post your responses and fill in the blanks.
For example, I would catch Chlamydia to get with Pixie Lott.
In other news The Evil One has travelled to the big bad city and is bemused and frightened by everything. After an evening of Monopoly and general debauchery The Evil One’s hosts retreated to play some WOW. Come tomorrow no doubt there will be much juggling and rejoicing as three way passing is likely to occur.
As for those left in Nottingham, what is happening guys? Fill me in on the gossip.
Off to catch Chlamydia.
Toodle pip,
ST
Saturday 19 September 2009
For Pete
This addition is dedicated to our beloved sleaze maestro Pete!
Sleazy Tiger has not finished with the Cheerleading Tryouts and is off to rig cameras in the 2012 Olympic changing rooms. Although we do have word of a large amount of sleaze having been going on around the country over the summer.
First off word has gotten to our offices that a Crazy Devilstick Woman and a Spinning DJ have performed the squelchy together! Furthermore we do wonder what is happening in this house of sleaze after the beautiful love triangle (Has this developed more sides?) between someone tall with a stick, spidermanesque climber/photographer and a creature with breasts that manages money for jugglers.
We of course will not mention some interesting conversations over coke between the Tall one and the devilstick woman. Although we have heard about some problems the tall one has been having with his glowing balls....
How does the sweet and innocent church going unicyclist fit into the house of fun?
In other news, down South, our ex President has been having the time of his life in his (got with through a technicality) job with 4 lovely ladies and a freshers week fast approaching! ST recommends on top of the photocopier or behind the 'Moral Philosophy' section.
Back in our capital city T has had a meeting with a lovely lady at a recruitment agency, he is almost guaranteed an estate agency job in Belgravia provided he provides some services in return... This is very sleazy of him, as most interviewers do not give out personal contact details, be available at weekends or meet especially before the interview. Additionally he was asked to dance with this lady during the interview, is this a required skill for selling houses? We advise him to provide the required services at least until the job is secured.
In the mean time 'Tall Attached Bearded Bum' has been having an unusual interview experience of his very own. It seems that many people in advertising are of a certain persuasion... How to put this delicately... Well lets just say the interviewer had no intention of putting anything delicately when it came to 'TABB'. We suggest he sticks to purely IT based roles, avoiding such advertising sorts in the future.
Please do keep ST updated with further goings on, we are always very delicate with any information you provide.
Keep it sleazy
ST
Sleazy Tiger has not finished with the Cheerleading Tryouts and is off to rig cameras in the 2012 Olympic changing rooms. Although we do have word of a large amount of sleaze having been going on around the country over the summer.
First off word has gotten to our offices that a Crazy Devilstick Woman and a Spinning DJ have performed the squelchy together! Furthermore we do wonder what is happening in this house of sleaze after the beautiful love triangle (Has this developed more sides?) between someone tall with a stick, spidermanesque climber/photographer and a creature with breasts that manages money for jugglers.
We of course will not mention some interesting conversations over coke between the Tall one and the devilstick woman. Although we have heard about some problems the tall one has been having with his glowing balls....
How does the sweet and innocent church going unicyclist fit into the house of fun?
In other news, down South, our ex President has been having the time of his life in his (got with through a technicality) job with 4 lovely ladies and a freshers week fast approaching! ST recommends on top of the photocopier or behind the 'Moral Philosophy' section.
Back in our capital city T has had a meeting with a lovely lady at a recruitment agency, he is almost guaranteed an estate agency job in Belgravia provided he provides some services in return... This is very sleazy of him, as most interviewers do not give out personal contact details, be available at weekends or meet especially before the interview. Additionally he was asked to dance with this lady during the interview, is this a required skill for selling houses? We advise him to provide the required services at least until the job is secured.
In the mean time 'Tall Attached Bearded Bum' has been having an unusual interview experience of his very own. It seems that many people in advertising are of a certain persuasion... How to put this delicately... Well lets just say the interviewer had no intention of putting anything delicately when it came to 'TABB'. We suggest he sticks to purely IT based roles, avoiding such advertising sorts in the future.
Please do keep ST updated with further goings on, we are always very delicate with any information you provide.
Keep it sleazy
ST
Thursday 17 September 2009
Update on T
A quick update about what has been heard about a founders antics in Europe and back here in sunny England.
T was spotted a few weeks ago along with a barely legal girl on the beach in some European country watching crazy movies! I hope he did ask for ID, just to make sure, we know what those foreign police are like.
Since then he has been causing havoc in his home town with a variety of creatures, one may have been called Holly. It is sad to see our man going back to letters he has already visited when he is still missing some letters! Hopefully she has some crazy middle name, but if he is still on his game then he will not have gathered this information!
Sadly there have been no developments with Interview Girl, is T slacking, or just inundated with chloroform orders? We recommend stocking up for the Christmas season.
In other news Operation: Get Jim Laid is coming along slowly, any ladies wishing to put themselves forward please get in touch. Although a helmet with facial protection (visor) is advised.
We have heard word that the Hot Asian Chick has found some new ladies in some old building in London, Sleazy Tiger is on his way to investigate this, right after he is done holding his 'Cheerleading Tryouts' whatever that means...
Keep us updated, stay sleazy!
Update: Sleazy Tiger would like to recieve any information/pictures/contact details for a 'Good Joes Sister'
T was spotted a few weeks ago along with a barely legal girl on the beach in some European country watching crazy movies! I hope he did ask for ID, just to make sure, we know what those foreign police are like.
Since then he has been causing havoc in his home town with a variety of creatures, one may have been called Holly. It is sad to see our man going back to letters he has already visited when he is still missing some letters! Hopefully she has some crazy middle name, but if he is still on his game then he will not have gathered this information!
Sadly there have been no developments with Interview Girl, is T slacking, or just inundated with chloroform orders? We recommend stocking up for the Christmas season.
In other news Operation: Get Jim Laid is coming along slowly, any ladies wishing to put themselves forward please get in touch. Although a helmet with facial protection (visor) is advised.
We have heard word that the Hot Asian Chick has found some new ladies in some old building in London, Sleazy Tiger is on his way to investigate this, right after he is done holding his 'Cheerleading Tryouts' whatever that means...
Keep us updated, stay sleazy!
Update: Sleazy Tiger would like to recieve any information/pictures/contact details for a 'Good Joes Sister'
Sunday 13 September 2009
Sleazy Tiger gets a job
Good news sleaze fans after my dismissal from hardcorefunkyjungleaction.com (the less said about why the better) I have be fortunate enough to find employment once again! Now if only I could perfect my lines “would you like fries with that?” I can do but the one about supersizing remains a little confusing. Two of my fellow job seekers Adam and Tristan have decided to shun the real world and instead set up a juggle based business. If anyone would like to hire them for juggling workshops I understand their rates are cheap and their service has been described as “reasonable” and “acceptable” and “only just below par”.
Keep Sleazy Tiger updated on the goings on in your life, he is very interested…
Keep Sleazy Tiger updated on the goings on in your life, he is very interested…
Saturday 12 September 2009
A Message From Sleazy Tiger
So nine working days into September and to my knowledge no ex-jugglesoc members have been asked to leave there jobs. Evil Joe remains at large in Essex and this tiger speculates his facial hair will be growing with each passing day. And at the last check Pete was working hard “on site at work yesterday for 14 hours. Thankfully the last 4 were in the pub”(Not facebook stalking I promise…) Sleazy Tiger is impressed with the last 4 hours however questions Pete’s commitment to the cause of drinking by spending so much time actually working. Good Joe’s job situation remains more confused. On Monday he had “finished his first day in the office” yet today his sister asks “hows the job hunting going?” Also where did this sister come from? You were wise to hide her from me… In other news by now the ‘House of Juggling’ must be well established. Amy, Jim, Good Joe, Helen and Nainesh all under one roof! Why not just move jugglesoc to your house? Speaking of jugglesoc best of luck you guys with the recruiting. Sleazy Tiger recommends short skirts all round, those of you who do not own a short skirt I am sure Jim would be willing to lend you one from his collection. Which brings us nicely to London the capital of short skirts. London, the home of Mira (we have now moved on from short skirts, I am in no way implying that your skirts are to short) However it is worth mentioning that one of the people on Mira’s course is nicknamed slutty, other individuals are known as smelly, clingy and ‘the fat one’ . Mira is busy doing law things in addition to being super lovely taking in two worthless unemployed bums. Adam is closing in on that elusive dream job. He was offered a second interview by your friend and mine Habib at the internet cafe. Adam proceeded to ignore Habib largely due to the mention of pay at a rate of £4.50 per hour. This however sounds spectacular when compared to Tristan’s latest offer to become a graduate management trainee, sadly their idea of direct sales was being a door to door salesman selling loft insulation. On a slightly brighter note Adam and Tristan have been regulars in Regents Park where juggling has been the order of the day. Their passing routine is truly something to behold. Indeed some students from the University of Westminster were so impressed they made a video starring our own juggling duo and some sort of moose/reindeer. So Tristan has left London for the time being leaving Adam and Mira to enjoy some alone time. Hopefully Adam will be preparing for his assessment day on Tuesday where he will be dazzling his future employers with juggling awesomeness. Not to mention his interview on Wednesday, good luck to you! Finally note to add then, slightly sleazy although not really and I only say because otherwise Adam will be upset, Tristan met a lovely girl at an interview, let us call her ‘interview girl’. That is the end of the story, nothing exciting really, what an idiot, Sleazy Tiger would have made a good impression on that candidate if you know what I mean. Happy September people and good luck to you all, we need it.
Wednesday 2 September 2009
September
Sleazy Tiger is currently taking bets on how long it will take for:
a. Joe to get fired.
b. Joe to grow the studenty facial hair.
c. Joe to offend a co-worker with a dungeon based joke.
In all seriousness best of luck to both Joe and Pete in the real world, we expect daily reports. I personally prefer to live in the fantasy I have created in my head where all of the ladies look like Scarlett Johansson. In other Joe related news he needs a reference from his previous landlord, any suggestions on what should/should not be mentioned are now being considered.
The last time Sleazy Tiger heard from Adam he was still in the process of finding himself/a job/the secret to five club juggling. In other news Tristan has returned from his summer travels and has predictably fallen back into the hell that is rapidly becoming his life. On a brighter note Tristan is likely to be in Nottingham on Thursday so if anyone is around for fun, friendship and maybe more give him a call.
Best wishes,
ST
a. Joe to get fired.
b. Joe to grow the studenty facial hair.
c. Joe to offend a co-worker with a dungeon based joke.
In all seriousness best of luck to both Joe and Pete in the real world, we expect daily reports. I personally prefer to live in the fantasy I have created in my head where all of the ladies look like Scarlett Johansson. In other Joe related news he needs a reference from his previous landlord, any suggestions on what should/should not be mentioned are now being considered.
The last time Sleazy Tiger heard from Adam he was still in the process of finding himself/a job/the secret to five club juggling. In other news Tristan has returned from his summer travels and has predictably fallen back into the hell that is rapidly becoming his life. On a brighter note Tristan is likely to be in Nottingham on Thursday so if anyone is around for fun, friendship and maybe more give him a call.
Best wishes,
ST
Tuesday 25 August 2009
'Beware the Bedeviled Lord of Speed'
Call me Crash Test Dummy. Our reporter for Literature has uncovered the tale of what happened when our own Evil Joe attempted the Driving Test. His critical review of the short story was, well, critical. However the Sleazy Tiger Blog of Sleaze has never shied away from publishing new authors, no matter how vomit inducing their end product may be. For instance, STBOS gave first airings to JK Rowling, Stephenie Meyer and Jodi Picoult. Though readers worldwide have demanded an apology for this, ST never apologises. Or admits paternity. Or wears condoms. Anyway.
STBOS' Literary Reviewer (who unlike ST will offer such statements) would like to apologise to Herman Melville, Charles Dickens, Edgar Allan Poe and any other master of prose who may have been unfortunate enough to inspire this monstrosity. Nevertheless, here in its full glory is the work, entitled 'Beware the Bedeviled Lord of Speed.'
Bold grew the day and heady were my spirits as I wandered down the old road from my estate. Top hat perched jauntily on my head and ivory festooned cane in my hand, I knew I represented the very image of the metropolitan gent. However, my stature as a senior of society was impinged upon by my great dereliction of the fine art of automobile piloting. As I observed the great men of the fine city of Leicester, all resplendent in tops and tails and escorting nubile women of fine account, I felt a great deepening of my shame that I had relied for so long on the good cheer and charity of others.
This fine day I would change my slovenly ways and become a man of means. My ambition was no less, but no more, to become a respectable and respectful captain of the horseless carriage. Though I had previously cared not for the gay abandon of speed that my fellows cherished, I had become determined to at least perform the minimum required of me to join such illustrious company. This required that I be approved of by my peers, a simple exercise consisting of navigating my combustion engine on a loop of the main paths of the town. I approached the corner of the crooked and cobbled street and as I turned into the wider boulevard my eyes alighted upon my mentor for the morning.
A stout fellow was my driving man, encumbered seemingly by too many tea parties at the country manor. Tall, but not rangy enough to counteract the effect of his gluttony, he held the air of a teacher at the front of his class waiting for an unruly pupil. My hands involuntarily tighten around my walking aid as memories of fearful lashings handed down by gowned Masters at my prep school overcame me. Choking back the bitter residual reminiscence of the feeling of blood upon buttock, I approached the fellow and declared my intentions.
"Not a moment too soon, I have been waiting five and ten minutes for you!" His words were barked out as a sustained volley, the like of which would have cut down the savages of deepest Africa with as much ease as a platoon of rifle bearing fine Christian Soldiers. "I offer my humble apologises sir, I was not of the intention of delaying your exertions this day." I removed my hat and bent double to support my rhetoric.
Still firing barbs at my person, which seemed to pierce my platitudes at will, he directed me to climb aboard the contraption. As I clambered into my cockpit, I felt a sudden surge of emotion which caused me to shake momentarily. My hands had but touched the directional wheel and so this overwhelming rush came as a shock. I must confirm that it was by no means unpleasant, akin to scratching at a recently inflicted wound. The rotund authority at my side began to ramble about the perils of driving and the qualities I must display if I was to be considered a worthy candidate. I heard nought of this instruction, as my full attention had become transfixed on the power I felt growing along my body that began at my right foot.
"You may proceed when ready" intoned the now distant sounding voice at my side. This was the final straw. Red hot pokers of passion shot through my head engulfing all my former noble intentions and leaving but a scorched ground suitable only for the devils that had previously been held at bay. I straightened and turned to my accomplice, the terror and awe upon his face betraying that he saw the newly dominant malice in my eyes. He must have known in that fatal instant, have seen his own destruction in my terrible stare. "Then let us be off!" A voice that sounded much like my own, but seemed to come from some one else inhabiting my form, a being of pure malevolence aligned only to chaos.
My foot slammed down upon the pedal and the carriage leapt away. My traveling companion was forced back into his seat as the scenery shifted into a gaussian blur. The acceleration seemed to be feeding into my demons as a thread might feed a spindle, the pace of one propelling the other to greater velocities. A corner approached and I threw the engine into the bend, clipping a young ragamuffin with the fore lantern. "Avast!" I screamed into the ever blurring distance "Beware me! I am the Lord of Speed and I demand my passage!"
The owner of the vehicle was now huddled in a corner, his previous authority and status having withered before my onslaught of insanity. I mockingly patted him on the head, as one would a incontinent dog or unloved child. "Poor fellow, have I made you unwell? Does this method of travel strain your constitution?" He recoiled from my hand as though my touch could burn. My response was to fling my hand from his person and to wave it aloft, joined by my other appendage. "Look mother, no hands!" I cackled and gesticulated wildly.
The scenery outside had taken on an almost reddish tint, though I can also suppose that my condition had begun to affect my perception. Still I pressed for more speed. The devil in my soul was no longer a nagging voice hemmed and caged by my greater virtues. It had free reign and was celebrating with an abandon matched only by the lower classes with their fiendish drinking. I was man no longer, shape being the only common feature I had left with the rest of decent society. My heart was eclipsed with an all powerful desire for mayhem which I could neither resist nor escape relishing.
Then at once a fierce collision! The world was turned every twixt way and a new red flowed over my eyes, my own lifeblood seeping from numerous cavernous cuts. The carriage had been turned and deformed by a milestone that protruded from the roadside. I noted with astonishment that it told me I was a full fifty furlongs from whence I had started. The passing of time had been swift and unnoticed. I became aware of a mewling that emanated from a hedge beyond the milestone.
Pulling myself from the car, my closer examinations revealed it to be the fat instructor who had been catapulted from the wreck. Though brambles tore at his portly behind and ripped his tender flesh like paper, he still yet tried to squirm away from me. Might well he do so. The carriage ablaze behind me, the hellish taint still present in my eyes and countenance, and the blood pouring from my battered body painted a fearsome and terrible visage. My breath becoming laboured, and my steps ever wearier, I used my terminal energies to impart a chilling epitaph to my consort.
"This test is over."
STBOS' Literary Reviewer (who unlike ST will offer such statements) would like to apologise to Herman Melville, Charles Dickens, Edgar Allan Poe and any other master of prose who may have been unfortunate enough to inspire this monstrosity. Nevertheless, here in its full glory is the work, entitled 'Beware the Bedeviled Lord of Speed.'
Bold grew the day and heady were my spirits as I wandered down the old road from my estate. Top hat perched jauntily on my head and ivory festooned cane in my hand, I knew I represented the very image of the metropolitan gent. However, my stature as a senior of society was impinged upon by my great dereliction of the fine art of automobile piloting. As I observed the great men of the fine city of Leicester, all resplendent in tops and tails and escorting nubile women of fine account, I felt a great deepening of my shame that I had relied for so long on the good cheer and charity of others.
This fine day I would change my slovenly ways and become a man of means. My ambition was no less, but no more, to become a respectable and respectful captain of the horseless carriage. Though I had previously cared not for the gay abandon of speed that my fellows cherished, I had become determined to at least perform the minimum required of me to join such illustrious company. This required that I be approved of by my peers, a simple exercise consisting of navigating my combustion engine on a loop of the main paths of the town. I approached the corner of the crooked and cobbled street and as I turned into the wider boulevard my eyes alighted upon my mentor for the morning.
A stout fellow was my driving man, encumbered seemingly by too many tea parties at the country manor. Tall, but not rangy enough to counteract the effect of his gluttony, he held the air of a teacher at the front of his class waiting for an unruly pupil. My hands involuntarily tighten around my walking aid as memories of fearful lashings handed down by gowned Masters at my prep school overcame me. Choking back the bitter residual reminiscence of the feeling of blood upon buttock, I approached the fellow and declared my intentions.
"Not a moment too soon, I have been waiting five and ten minutes for you!" His words were barked out as a sustained volley, the like of which would have cut down the savages of deepest Africa with as much ease as a platoon of rifle bearing fine Christian Soldiers. "I offer my humble apologises sir, I was not of the intention of delaying your exertions this day." I removed my hat and bent double to support my rhetoric.
Still firing barbs at my person, which seemed to pierce my platitudes at will, he directed me to climb aboard the contraption. As I clambered into my cockpit, I felt a sudden surge of emotion which caused me to shake momentarily. My hands had but touched the directional wheel and so this overwhelming rush came as a shock. I must confirm that it was by no means unpleasant, akin to scratching at a recently inflicted wound. The rotund authority at my side began to ramble about the perils of driving and the qualities I must display if I was to be considered a worthy candidate. I heard nought of this instruction, as my full attention had become transfixed on the power I felt growing along my body that began at my right foot.
"You may proceed when ready" intoned the now distant sounding voice at my side. This was the final straw. Red hot pokers of passion shot through my head engulfing all my former noble intentions and leaving but a scorched ground suitable only for the devils that had previously been held at bay. I straightened and turned to my accomplice, the terror and awe upon his face betraying that he saw the newly dominant malice in my eyes. He must have known in that fatal instant, have seen his own destruction in my terrible stare. "Then let us be off!" A voice that sounded much like my own, but seemed to come from some one else inhabiting my form, a being of pure malevolence aligned only to chaos.
My foot slammed down upon the pedal and the carriage leapt away. My traveling companion was forced back into his seat as the scenery shifted into a gaussian blur. The acceleration seemed to be feeding into my demons as a thread might feed a spindle, the pace of one propelling the other to greater velocities. A corner approached and I threw the engine into the bend, clipping a young ragamuffin with the fore lantern. "Avast!" I screamed into the ever blurring distance "Beware me! I am the Lord of Speed and I demand my passage!"
The owner of the vehicle was now huddled in a corner, his previous authority and status having withered before my onslaught of insanity. I mockingly patted him on the head, as one would a incontinent dog or unloved child. "Poor fellow, have I made you unwell? Does this method of travel strain your constitution?" He recoiled from my hand as though my touch could burn. My response was to fling my hand from his person and to wave it aloft, joined by my other appendage. "Look mother, no hands!" I cackled and gesticulated wildly.
The scenery outside had taken on an almost reddish tint, though I can also suppose that my condition had begun to affect my perception. Still I pressed for more speed. The devil in my soul was no longer a nagging voice hemmed and caged by my greater virtues. It had free reign and was celebrating with an abandon matched only by the lower classes with their fiendish drinking. I was man no longer, shape being the only common feature I had left with the rest of decent society. My heart was eclipsed with an all powerful desire for mayhem which I could neither resist nor escape relishing.
Then at once a fierce collision! The world was turned every twixt way and a new red flowed over my eyes, my own lifeblood seeping from numerous cavernous cuts. The carriage had been turned and deformed by a milestone that protruded from the roadside. I noted with astonishment that it told me I was a full fifty furlongs from whence I had started. The passing of time had been swift and unnoticed. I became aware of a mewling that emanated from a hedge beyond the milestone.
Pulling myself from the car, my closer examinations revealed it to be the fat instructor who had been catapulted from the wreck. Though brambles tore at his portly behind and ripped his tender flesh like paper, he still yet tried to squirm away from me. Might well he do so. The carriage ablaze behind me, the hellish taint still present in my eyes and countenance, and the blood pouring from my battered body painted a fearsome and terrible visage. My breath becoming laboured, and my steps ever wearier, I used my terminal energies to impart a chilling epitaph to my consort.
"This test is over."
Sunday 9 August 2009
Rumors from Spain
We at ST's office have just heard about some sleazy goings on in Spain. It appears one of our jugglers famous for his '17 ball cascade' has been saving lives, and karma has rewarded him for this.
News just in is that our man has been to a fashion show to see some vary scantily clad ladies and shall be following them to the after party. I have been assured that these ladies will not be in their clothes for long due to a good supply of Rohypnol and Chloroform. Also, following ST's lead, condoms will not be used with the friendly STI clinic being the favored option.
Our man is off to Greece soon, and may happen upon ST who is currently in search of Aphrodite in order to teach her a thing or two. We look forward to hearing about this!
Keep us updated, and stay sleazy!
News just in is that our man has been to a fashion show to see some vary scantily clad ladies and shall be following them to the after party. I have been assured that these ladies will not be in their clothes for long due to a good supply of Rohypnol and Chloroform. Also, following ST's lead, condoms will not be used with the friendly STI clinic being the favored option.
Our man is off to Greece soon, and may happen upon ST who is currently in search of Aphrodite in order to teach her a thing or two. We look forward to hearing about this!
Keep us updated, and stay sleazy!
Sunday 2 August 2009
Evil Joe's Adventures in Property Renting
It has come to Sleazy attention that Evil Joe has recently rented himself a room in EsSex (a perfectly named County) in which to reside for the coming year. Fortunately for our many followers, a Sleazy reporter tagged along to document the meeting, which went something like this:
Landlord (LL): So here's the room. It's 12x12 with a double bed, something I'm sure a young man like yourself will appreciate (nudge nudge, wink wink).
Evil Joe (EJ): Well I was hoping for a King Size to accommodate my many threesomes, but I suppose this will suffice.
LL: Haha. Yes. Well, there's a chest of drawers and a wardrobe...
EJ: How many hookers can you fit into the wardrobe?
LL: Sorry?
EJ: Hookers.
LL: Hookers?
EJ: Hookers.
LL: You want to put prostitutes in your wardrobe?
EJ: Well where else would I put them? I am certainly not going to leave corpses lying around.
LL: You're going to kill them!?!
EJ: Of course I am, nothing worse than a live whore demanding money.
LL: haha......you're joking right?
EJ: No matter, I am sure trial and error will give me the necessary answer. The advert said this place had a basement.
LL: Yes yes, a small extra living room. Has enough size for a couple of settees.
EJ: Is it soundproofed?
LL: I don't know. Is that important?
EJ: You tell me. Do I want concerned neighbours calling the Police? Do I want to be nationally named 'No.1 Most Wanted Pervert' and have a bounty on my head? Do I really want to have to flee the country and fashion a new identity again?
LL: ..........I guess not.
EJ: Exactly. So we should get onto that. I am also interested in this garage. How many torture implements can you store in this space.....
Reproduced by our Reporter for Sleazy Property's
Landlord (LL): So here's the room. It's 12x12 with a double bed, something I'm sure a young man like yourself will appreciate (nudge nudge, wink wink).
Evil Joe (EJ): Well I was hoping for a King Size to accommodate my many threesomes, but I suppose this will suffice.
LL: Haha. Yes. Well, there's a chest of drawers and a wardrobe...
EJ: How many hookers can you fit into the wardrobe?
LL: Sorry?
EJ: Hookers.
LL: Hookers?
EJ: Hookers.
LL: You want to put prostitutes in your wardrobe?
EJ: Well where else would I put them? I am certainly not going to leave corpses lying around.
LL: You're going to kill them!?!
EJ: Of course I am, nothing worse than a live whore demanding money.
LL: haha......you're joking right?
EJ: No matter, I am sure trial and error will give me the necessary answer. The advert said this place had a basement.
LL: Yes yes, a small extra living room. Has enough size for a couple of settees.
EJ: Is it soundproofed?
LL: I don't know. Is that important?
EJ: You tell me. Do I want concerned neighbours calling the Police? Do I want to be nationally named 'No.1 Most Wanted Pervert' and have a bounty on my head? Do I really want to have to flee the country and fashion a new identity again?
LL: ..........I guess not.
EJ: Exactly. So we should get onto that. I am also interested in this garage. How many torture implements can you store in this space.....
Reproduced by our Reporter for Sleazy Property's
Monday 27 July 2009
Computer Games = Violence in Real Life?
Case Study One:
Evil Joe - game of choice - GTA.
In real life Joe has allegedly emulated his in game hero going on a mass killing spree by means of hit and run. This onlooker is unsure if this is the result of his passion for violent computer games or just his lack of driving skill.
Stand by for updates on this disturbing case.
ST
Evil Joe - game of choice - GTA.
In real life Joe has allegedly emulated his in game hero going on a mass killing spree by means of hit and run. This onlooker is unsure if this is the result of his passion for violent computer games or just his lack of driving skill.
Stand by for updates on this disturbing case.
ST
Friday 24 July 2009
Troubled Times Financially?
Being a Sleazy Tiger I find much of my hard earned cash goes on condoms. These are expensive and at the rate I use them are plunging me into debt. Therefore, from this day forward, I Sleazy Tiger, promise never to but condoms again. Instead I am recommending treatment rather than prevention – the STI clinic is free and you always meet such nice people there, after all you already know they are easy.
ST signing off. xxxx
ST signing off. xxxx
Sleazy Horoscopes
Aries – The clear view of Uranus could leave you in an awkward position. Try not to go outside too much and avoid contact with other living things.
Taurus – Your sign is going into eclipse behind the sun. Carry a spare juggling club at all times otherwise you could cease to exist.
Gemini – You will be called up to defend your planet against invading alien forces from your star. As a Gemini you must fight, it is probably all your fault anyway.
Virgo – The unexpected positioning of your sign against the horizon of Mars means a violent encounter is likely to occur. Beware of large wild animals.
Leo – Jupiter’s newly discovered moon means nothing to your sign. I just mentioned it to lengthen your reading as nothing will happen to you.
Cancer – Had a birthday recently? Turns out my birthday present to you may have had an STI. My advice is get tested due to Saturn’s elongating orbit.
Libra – Beware a suspicious Leo by the name of Quentin McNargle. Stay away from Barcelona.
Scorpio – As your sign enters the Gammal phase you should be on a heightened sense of alert. The opportunity for sleaze could be around any corner.
Sagittarius – Happiness lies in a three cheese pizza. Particularly attractive female Sagittarius’ should take their favourite sleazy astronomer out for a pizza, their treat.
Capricorn – You are in for some luck as Mercury counter balances the jambolio of its moons. Prepare yourself for a surprise dance contest.
Aquarius - Neptune and Pluto align. Typically such an event will cause unbalance in your sign. Perhaps sit down and do not attempt any high wire stunts.
Pisces – A Pisces with the name beginning with T and ending in ristan is the coolest person ever. Fact.
Taurus – Your sign is going into eclipse behind the sun. Carry a spare juggling club at all times otherwise you could cease to exist.
Gemini – You will be called up to defend your planet against invading alien forces from your star. As a Gemini you must fight, it is probably all your fault anyway.
Virgo – The unexpected positioning of your sign against the horizon of Mars means a violent encounter is likely to occur. Beware of large wild animals.
Leo – Jupiter’s newly discovered moon means nothing to your sign. I just mentioned it to lengthen your reading as nothing will happen to you.
Cancer – Had a birthday recently? Turns out my birthday present to you may have had an STI. My advice is get tested due to Saturn’s elongating orbit.
Libra – Beware a suspicious Leo by the name of Quentin McNargle. Stay away from Barcelona.
Scorpio – As your sign enters the Gammal phase you should be on a heightened sense of alert. The opportunity for sleaze could be around any corner.
Sagittarius – Happiness lies in a three cheese pizza. Particularly attractive female Sagittarius’ should take their favourite sleazy astronomer out for a pizza, their treat.
Capricorn – You are in for some luck as Mercury counter balances the jambolio of its moons. Prepare yourself for a surprise dance contest.
Aquarius - Neptune and Pluto align. Typically such an event will cause unbalance in your sign. Perhaps sit down and do not attempt any high wire stunts.
Pisces – A Pisces with the name beginning with T and ending in ristan is the coolest person ever. Fact.
Thursday 23 July 2009
Blast From the Past: A where are they now Pete special
Good day to one and all, me Sleazy Tiger checking in with the usual combination of fact and rumour about the members of the sleaziest juggling club around.
Pete will always be remembered fondly by the club. Ample entertainment could often be found in his Strongbow fuelled antics. However when he left we all breathed a sigh of relief as the rest of us now looked only mildly useless now we were not being compared to the God of Jugglesoc. Many sacrificed goats or infants to him in an attempt to convince Pete to impart just a fraction of his juggling knowledge to us. In particular Evil Joe benefited from Pete’s departure who was desperate to steal the crown of ‘that guy who attempts seven’. Even though Pete has left us for a better place (wait, is anywhere better than university?) he has not forgotten and those who attended ‘Not Another Juggling Convention’ last year will remember being graced by his presence.
So where is Pete now? For the past year that could have been anybody’s guess as he toured the world spreading sleaze across Australia and New Zealand. The less said about the incident in Thailand the better but Pete remains convinced that they were both female and of a legal age. One highlight of his trip was Las Vegas which Pete describes as ‘bizarre’. After getting a quicky divorce and fleeing the country Pete finds himself back in the UK, specifically Milton Keynes where he starts his shiny new job in August. He will be playing around with animal vaccines and similar such – you science people probably know better than me. Bachelor of Sleaze is an arts rather than science based course. Still Pete seems excited. In other Pete related news Mrs. Pete is also doing well, this may be of note of Ru who as I recall briefly desired Mrs. Pete for himself.
Also this week we say bon voyage to Evil Joe who is off across the channel for a week or so. Heres hoping your driving is going nicely, is the test booked? Also have you heard from either of your passing conquests from Sounds on the Downs or were they just one time flings?
By the way I proposed to yet another lady last night, that make 706 women willing to marry me, she seemed less impressed when I informed her I was just checking if she would and was not genuinely asking. Oh well, will not have to see her ever again anyway. In other news I am hard at work on that cure for STI’s that you requested Jim, you will be hitting that discount brothel down the street in no time. I am off now to impregnate my twin brothers (Easy Tiger) girlfriend, that will teach him for leaving the cap off the toothpaste again.
Best of luck to Pete and to the rest of the gang!
ST (BA. Hons.)
P.s. By the way I am off on holiday shortly for a month of so. Do not fear I leave you in the capable hands of my sleazy tiger cubs who will keep you updated on various jugglesocers movements and no doubt speculate on my whereabouts and activities.
Pete will always be remembered fondly by the club. Ample entertainment could often be found in his Strongbow fuelled antics. However when he left we all breathed a sigh of relief as the rest of us now looked only mildly useless now we were not being compared to the God of Jugglesoc. Many sacrificed goats or infants to him in an attempt to convince Pete to impart just a fraction of his juggling knowledge to us. In particular Evil Joe benefited from Pete’s departure who was desperate to steal the crown of ‘that guy who attempts seven’. Even though Pete has left us for a better place (wait, is anywhere better than university?) he has not forgotten and those who attended ‘Not Another Juggling Convention’ last year will remember being graced by his presence.
So where is Pete now? For the past year that could have been anybody’s guess as he toured the world spreading sleaze across Australia and New Zealand. The less said about the incident in Thailand the better but Pete remains convinced that they were both female and of a legal age. One highlight of his trip was Las Vegas which Pete describes as ‘bizarre’. After getting a quicky divorce and fleeing the country Pete finds himself back in the UK, specifically Milton Keynes where he starts his shiny new job in August. He will be playing around with animal vaccines and similar such – you science people probably know better than me. Bachelor of Sleaze is an arts rather than science based course. Still Pete seems excited. In other Pete related news Mrs. Pete is also doing well, this may be of note of Ru who as I recall briefly desired Mrs. Pete for himself.
Also this week we say bon voyage to Evil Joe who is off across the channel for a week or so. Heres hoping your driving is going nicely, is the test booked? Also have you heard from either of your passing conquests from Sounds on the Downs or were they just one time flings?
By the way I proposed to yet another lady last night, that make 706 women willing to marry me, she seemed less impressed when I informed her I was just checking if she would and was not genuinely asking. Oh well, will not have to see her ever again anyway. In other news I am hard at work on that cure for STI’s that you requested Jim, you will be hitting that discount brothel down the street in no time. I am off now to impregnate my twin brothers (Easy Tiger) girlfriend, that will teach him for leaving the cap off the toothpaste again.
Best of luck to Pete and to the rest of the gang!
ST (BA. Hons.)
P.s. By the way I am off on holiday shortly for a month of so. Do not fear I leave you in the capable hands of my sleazy tiger cubs who will keep you updated on various jugglesocers movements and no doubt speculate on my whereabouts and activities.
Friday 17 July 2009
Summer Holidays
Evil Joe is off to invade France. Supplies lined up include; two creates of condoms, eight bottles of unspecified booze and one large white flag (in the unlikely event that the locals can not locate their own). In other news Evil Joe, Mira and Tristan managed to survive graduation without falling over. Anita was slightly less fortunate at hers with a disaster in the weather department, more rain drops fell then girls in my bed so something of a flood. Tristan can now recite the vice-chancellors speech off by heart having attended three graduation ceremonies in just four days! Still could be worse, the man shaking hands is due for hand surgery in the morning.
Enjoy the summer of sleaze,
ST
Enjoy the summer of sleaze,
ST
Tuesday 14 July 2009
Back in the old hunting grounds
Hello all.
Graduation - an unusual event. In answer to your obvious questions: yes, the gown does work as a trench coat for concealing nudity until the opportune moment and no, none of the academics are hot. Sleazy Tiger saw Evil Joe collect his award, a nonchalant bow and rapid ‘head down, oh what the hell am I doing’ march of stage. Fortunately no stumbles. Sleazy Tiger is hearing news of a ‘friendly gathering’ involving Adam, Mira and Evil Joe. Come on guys, there are better ways to spice things up, no need to stoop so low as to include Joe in any depraved activities. In other news (as Jim as refused to update me on his life I will tell you a rumour I heard about a guy who may or may not have been Jim from a friend of a friend of a friend) which goes something like this. Young Croatian tennis star and Jim seen doing metal karaoke. Later Jim had an attack of the ‘Melty Man’ (Adam – yes from Coupling. Others – watch Coupling!!!)
Peace out,
ST
Graduation - an unusual event. In answer to your obvious questions: yes, the gown does work as a trench coat for concealing nudity until the opportune moment and no, none of the academics are hot. Sleazy Tiger saw Evil Joe collect his award, a nonchalant bow and rapid ‘head down, oh what the hell am I doing’ march of stage. Fortunately no stumbles. Sleazy Tiger is hearing news of a ‘friendly gathering’ involving Adam, Mira and Evil Joe. Come on guys, there are better ways to spice things up, no need to stoop so low as to include Joe in any depraved activities. In other news (as Jim as refused to update me on his life I will tell you a rumour I heard about a guy who may or may not have been Jim from a friend of a friend of a friend) which goes something like this. Young Croatian tennis star and Jim seen doing metal karaoke. Later Jim had an attack of the ‘Melty Man’ (Adam – yes from Coupling. Others – watch Coupling!!!)
Peace out,
ST
Saturday 11 July 2009
My sexy lady sense is tingling…
I have it on good authority that Mira will be arriving in the UK in day now…
And speaking of Mira, I would like to inform you all that her sleazy sexploits can be followed on Twitter (twitter.com/mirlina). As can her ‘partner in crime’ Adam (twitter.com/knad05). Furthermore everybody’s favourite tiger can also be followed (twitter.com/sleazytiger). Please feel free to peruse the day to day activities of us all.
Now if you will excuse me I have a date with Easy Tiger.
ST
P.s. Many thanks to Evil Joe for his informative and amusing article on ‘that guy what I should have revised about’. Available to all on my blog.
And speaking of Mira, I would like to inform you all that her sleazy sexploits can be followed on Twitter (twitter.com/mirlina). As can her ‘partner in crime’ Adam (twitter.com/knad05). Furthermore everybody’s favourite tiger can also be followed (twitter.com/sleazytiger). Please feel free to peruse the day to day activities of us all.
Now if you will excuse me I have a date with Easy Tiger.
ST
P.s. Many thanks to Evil Joe for his informative and amusing article on ‘that guy what I should have revised about’. Available to all on my blog.
Robert S. McNamara Dies, History Students finally realise who he is.
Monday 6th July 2009, Robert S. McNamara died at the age of 93. McNamara had been the Secretary of Defence in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations from 1961 to 1968 and President of the World Bank until
1981. This was news to a great many History students, who could really have done with such information several years earlier and in a one hour essay format.
McNamara, often known as the 'IBM Machine with Legs' for his ability whilst walking to bring up porn of Marilyn Monroe to satisfy Kennedy's appetites, was apparently a key figure in the escalation and
eventual direct American involvement in the Vietnam War. McNamara's role in these proceedings was a mystery to a great many Historians who did not have a fucking clue who this guy was.
One esteemed Alumni of the University of Nottingham was woken from an alcoholic stupor to pass comment: "Who?" When given slightly more information the student replied "Well he probably wasn't as important as Johnson anyway. Fancy a pint?"
McNamara's passing represents a sad time for all devotees of the Vietnam Conflict, of whom few ofthe important figures (Dr Manhattan, the Comedian, Richard Nixon's Nose) still remain alive or accounted for. McNamara will be fondly not-remembered by students or, if they do, it will be for his wonderfully odd middle name of 'Strange.'
Written by our Reporter for Sleazy World Events
(Many thanks to Evil Joe)
1981. This was news to a great many History students, who could really have done with such information several years earlier and in a one hour essay format.
McNamara, often known as the 'IBM Machine with Legs' for his ability whilst walking to bring up porn of Marilyn Monroe to satisfy Kennedy's appetites, was apparently a key figure in the escalation and
eventual direct American involvement in the Vietnam War. McNamara's role in these proceedings was a mystery to a great many Historians who did not have a fucking clue who this guy was.
One esteemed Alumni of the University of Nottingham was woken from an alcoholic stupor to pass comment: "Who?" When given slightly more information the student replied "Well he probably wasn't as important as Johnson anyway. Fancy a pint?"
McNamara's passing represents a sad time for all devotees of the Vietnam Conflict, of whom few ofthe important figures (Dr Manhattan, the Comedian, Richard Nixon's Nose) still remain alive or accounted for. McNamara will be fondly not-remembered by students or, if they do, it will be for his wonderfully odd middle name of 'Strange.'
Written by our Reporter for Sleazy World Events
(Many thanks to Evil Joe)
Tuesday 7 July 2009
ST: Standing By For Your Gossip
Hello all.
Just a very quick update. Tristan has a job interview coming up so he asks if you could all pray extra hard that would be great. In other news… there is no other news because you are all so rubbish at sending in the sleazy details of your lives! Please email Sleazy Tiger with any and all gossip about yourself and others! Any updates on Jim and park/library/bus stop/street corner/quirky haried girl for instance? Do not force me to start making stuff up!!! You have been warned! Enjoy your summer holidays people.
All the best,
Sleazy Tiger
P.s. Just a reminder about my blog: http://sleazytiger.blogspot.com/
Just a very quick update. Tristan has a job interview coming up so he asks if you could all pray extra hard that would be great. In other news… there is no other news because you are all so rubbish at sending in the sleazy details of your lives! Please email Sleazy Tiger with any and all gossip about yourself and others! Any updates on Jim and park/library/bus stop/street corner/quirky haried girl for instance? Do not force me to start making stuff up!!! You have been warned! Enjoy your summer holidays people.
All the best,
Sleazy Tiger
P.s. Just a reminder about my blog: http://sleazytiger.blogspot.com/
Thursday 2 July 2009
News Just In!!!
Multi car pile up in Leicester – Evil Joe takes to the roads.
Keeping it sleazy,
Sleazy Tiger
P.s. Thank you to the two followers of my blog! Sleazy Tiger updates, games, interactive competitions and so much more.
Keeping it sleazy,
Sleazy Tiger
P.s. Thank you to the two followers of my blog! Sleazy Tiger updates, games, interactive competitions and so much more.
Thursday 25 June 2009
A Little Game
Which member of jugglesoc (currant or ex)…
a) Has been arrested in a clown outfit in Berlin?
b) Once had a job in the banana straightening industry?
c) Ate an entire pig in one sitting?
d) Is ranked world number two in squid throwing?
e) Invented the hole punch?
P.s. Sleazy Tiger would like to thank his one avid follower.
a) Has been arrested in a clown outfit in Berlin?
b) Once had a job in the banana straightening industry?
c) Ate an entire pig in one sitting?
d) Is ranked world number two in squid throwing?
e) Invented the hole punch?
P.s. Sleazy Tiger would like to thank his one avid follower.
Job Hunting – More Difficult Than Lady Hunting
The job market is somewhat of a challenge at the moment… The situation is not helped by being a sleazy illegal immigrant tiger from
Saturday 20 June 2009
How to Get That Quirky Haired Girl
Thank you to Adam for the suggestion on this one, and pressumably to Jim for the inspiration behind Adam's suggestion.
Step One: Located a place where quirky haired girls hang out, perhaps a 'quirky hair convention'.
Step Two: Put on your best sleazy smile.
Step Three: Approach the lucky lady from behind.
Step Four: Apply chloroform to an old rag. (In the event of being unable to located your chloroform supply contact www.joe'sitemsthataidinseduction.com. If there is no time for this on account of a 'quirky hair convention' being held at short notice then a large stick will make a suitable replacement.)
Step Five: **Removed for legal reasons**
Step Six: Enjoy
Important Questions
What is your favourite fruit?
Who is your favourite NPC?
How many balls can you handle?
Do you prefer Joe's smaller balls or Adam's squishy balls?
Are you not a ball person? Do you favour the Spin Doctor's stick?
Are you into anything unusual that I should be made aware of?
Who is your favourite NPC?
How many balls can you handle?
Do you prefer Joe's smaller balls or Adam's squishy balls?
Are you not a ball person? Do you favour the Spin Doctor's stick?
Are you into anything unusual that I should be made aware of?
Sleazy Tiger Promises Blog - Here it is!
Sleazy Tiger hopes your results were satisfactory. Congratulations on having something you can laminate and turn into a lovely place mat whilst you spend the next ten years eating your parents food at your parents house until they kick you out/make you get a job. For those left at our beloved Jugglesoc good luck and retain the sleaze in our absence.
So that is it. Many of us find ourselves thrust [insert obvious joke here] into the real world. But what will we do? Where will we go? Who will we impregnate? As far as I can tell jugglesocers are spreading far and wide. Evil Joe, unable to leave that crazy uni life behind has opted to become a librarian at The University of Essex (the name is just too easy – as Joe hopes the students will be). He can get you that book on the French Revolution in time for the exam but you will have to give him something in return… As for Adam he aims to live off his wife-to-be for as long as possible, a sensible man. We use this opportunity to wish him the best of luck at his interview in the coming week. Our number one piece of advice is to remember it is not what you know but who you blow. How do you think Sleazy Tiger rose to the rank of Senior Business Strategy Management Consultant at Attractive Ladies Inc.?
I thought that Sleazy Tiger may join the other internet weirdoes and start ‘blogging’, that way it will be easier for those not fortunate enough to be on Sleazy Tigers contacts list (I rarely get names…) to learn of our antics. Speaking of antics, feel free to send me details of incidents such as the Spin Doctors ‘Library Girl’ or ‘Park Girl’. Sleazy Tiger is hoping for some ‘Girl on Girl’
Sleazy Tiger will be checking out the party scene in Zante in an attempt to spread my own special brand of charm. Heres hoping your holidays are just as depraved.
Signing off,
ST
Everybody's Favourite Night of the Year...
Previously on ‘Jugglesoc does Societies Ball’…
Evil Joe was so very sorry, Jim assaulted a young lady with his ‘stick’, Ruben ordered pizza to the library and I Sleazy Tiger gave Chlamydia to the entire University cheerleading squad. How can we top this I hear you cry? That remains to be seen, updates will follow tomorrow. Have fun sleaze fans.
Also Sleazy Tiger would like to inform you of the return of one of the sleaziest television shows ever, that’s right Hank returns in Californiacation for your viewing (and learning) pleasure. We salute you good sir.
Always yours (and any attractive females in a short skirt),
Sleazy Tiger
P.s. If anybody knows a Shannon or maybe Sharon, I do not recall, but either way best avoid her, she may have gonorrhoea.
Need the Gossip?
Hello all ST here (short for Sleazy Tiger, I am trying it out what do you think?)
After our recently started dating service I am happy to report a number of matches. We still have many eligible jugglers who we will be looking to find perfect partners for in the coming weeks. One such individual is self proclaimed hobo Evil Joe. He is not fussy, any women of any age that enjoys walks in the park followed by an evening in the dungeon is in with a shot. And if you live for a year Joe promises an exciting anniversary gift involving hookers and blow. Ru is another of our recently signed up members. He is looking for a sexually aggressive geeky black haired Natalie Portman look-alike for juggling and fun times. Finally are there any women in the world that can resist the sophisticated and romantic Jim? He is willing to do whatever it takes to get the quirky haired cheerleader and intends to take this lucky lady ‘down’ on the first date, whatever that means. We only hope she manages to avoid contact with Jim’s stick unlike the last one, God rest her soul.
In other news I hope you all got your dissertations/work/essays/things in on time and that the results come back as positive as my last STI test. Best of luck with the exam preparation.
In other other news see you all on Monday, heres hoping Mooch has beer!!!
Peace,
ST
Stop: Sleaze Time
Hola Sleazy fans,
Sorry for the Spanish I am adjusting having only recently returned from a sleazy trip to an unspecified sleazy destination. What is new… Where do I begin? The exploits of the Spin Doctor perhaps? Perhaps I best not, that level of sleazy can not be contained in a single email. In other news I heard that Pete character (who requires a nickname, suggestions?) was about challenging our own Evil Joe for best juggler in the Ballroom, sadly both failed to make it into the top ten that day, anyone else hate small annoyingly good children? Evil Joe promises to rectify this situation in the near future by any means necessary. Another surprise guest at recent jugglesoc events has been one un-social secretary, that’s right cancel the funeral, Ruben is still among the living, good for him. Speaking of special guests one Todd Strong has made his excuses for failing to attend the ‘World Dice Stacking Championships’, he heard the rumour that I, Sleazy Tiger, would be taking the dice stacking world by storm. He would be horrified to lose to my incredible moves, sleazy stacking is the way to go people. I am after all accustom to piling ‘items’ on top of each other, not dice so much but I can make an exception just this once.
So the end of a term, people are making their way back to their home towns in order to spread the sleazy and the STIs to a whole new group of lucky individuals. Heres hoping you all have a joyous break. By the way anybody that is interested in a photo competition this year feel free to enter the ‘2nd annual Jugglesoc Easter Photography Competition’. Two categories will be up for grabs; firstly ‘best photo of a juggly nature’ and secondly, and more importantly, ‘most sleazy moment’.
Sorry for the length of this update, I am practicing for my sleazy dissertation on [insert name of politician here].
Keep it sleazy,
Sleazy Tiger XXX
Guess Who is Back
Sorry sleaze fans, been a while I know. However I have been no more elusive than a certain (un)social secretary, as is the custom. I have been otherwise occupied. Evil Joe had me trapped in his basement, I do not want to talk about it. Needless to say I am planning to make up for lost time and inject a little extra sleaze to the streets of Nottingham. Stand by for gossip, I know you want it.
xoxo
xoxo
History Students Need Not Apply
Apologies for my absence and recent lack of updates, I was on an extended summer break and was enjoying myself for to much to care about the likes of you. Sadly now the summer has come to an end and the icy bite of winter is upon us. Still at least there is excitement afoot in Nottingham. For instance last night Sleazy Tiger found himself outside of his natural habitat last, something the kids are calling an ‘engagement party’. Help me avid readers, any ideas about what that may be? It seems this turn of events has resulted in The Sleazy Apprentice giving something to The Hot Asian Chick. Heres hoping it is not an STI. In any event I understand that congratulations are in order so this is Sleazy Tiger sending best wishes to you both. Despite Sleazy Tigers best efforts the evening went without many noteworthy incidents. There seemed to be a certain degree of segregation between the ‘jugglesoc guys’ and the ‘riding club girls’. Something I can not understand for one reason alone… [insert chosen riding joke here]. Even The Spin Doctor refrained from pulling his signature move of the staff to the face. Perhaps he was simply to busy pretending to be a werewolf/The Incredible Hulk? Sleazy Tiger would also like to use this opportunity to advertise the graduate recruitment programme being run this year. Starting salary £56,000. History students need not apply.
Sleazy Tiger signing off.
xoxo
**SPOTTED**
Sleazy Tiger again,
---===LATEST NEWS===---
The Tamed Tiger has been spotted boarding a plane to some place called Greece. Is that not where the the Tiger Taming Goddess resides?
What has she done to him? What has happened to him...Could he be looking for a relationship? Or is he merely still trying to get into her pants?
Only Time will tell.
Legends have been told about the Evil Ones conquests of 12 virgins so far this summer! Sleazy!
Thats all today folks. I have to be off, I have discovered there is an ante-natal class round the corner!
Sleazy Tiger, the latest news with no morals. Stay Sleazy
xoxo
---===LATEST NEWS===---
The Tamed Tiger has been spotted boarding a plane to some place called Greece. Is that not where the the Tiger Taming Goddess resides?
What has she done to him? What has happened to him...Could he be looking for a relationship? Or is he merely still trying to get into her pants?
Only Time will tell.
Legends have been told about the Evil Ones conquests of 12 virgins so far this summer! Sleazy!
Thats all today folks. I have to be off, I have discovered there is an ante-natal class round the corner!
Sleazy Tiger, the latest news with no morals. Stay Sleazy
xoxo
ST - From the Sleazy Start...
Sleazy Tiger here, your one and only insight into the fabulous life of jugglers everywhere.
In recent news the Tamed Tiger has been seen with the same girl twice, she must be amazing, who is this Tiger Taming Goddess?
The Sleazy Apprentice has taken a massive step in his relationship with the Hot Asian Chick, what is this development? More information to follow.
The Evil One has taken over a jugglesocs sleaziest, has he even called that Real Life Actual Girl after their one night of passion and juggling?
The Sleazy Staff Master has dropped off the map after that unfortunate incident where that girl took a staff in the face.
As for the outgoing president who we shall refer to as The Sultan Of Smut what is up with that on off thing he had with Stolen Drunk Chick?
Sadly we have lost one of our finest, we salute you oh Juggling God, gone forever, to a better place.
Sleazy Tiger keeping you posted on all sleazy activity within jugglesoc
xoxo
P.s feel free to send in any sleaze related gossip!
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